Divorce and separation are challenging life events, even when families manage to agree on a sensible separation plan.
This is because the ending of this stage in your life could elicit feelings of grief, anger, guilt, loneliness, regret, sadness and more.
There is nothing wrong with feeling these emotions, and it is entirely normal to feel this.
Unfortunately, such emotions may cause separating couples to make the wrong decisions.
These decisions can have a lasting negative impact on the lives of the people you love and even your children, friends and family.
It can impact the people you love, both financially and emotionally.
The decision to separate or divorce can change the course of your life.
Even if you and your former partner are ending the relationship on good terms, there are issues to resolve such as – time spending with the children, division of your property and superannuation.
If you proceed with the correct process, you can avoid divorce mistakes that increase stress and waste your time, energy and money.
Safeguarding yourself against mistakes in the process of divorce is critical to an efficient solution. Any decision taken in the heat of the moment or with incomplete information can turn all the major aspects of your life upside down.
If you are considering a divorce in Australia, here are 6 most common divorce mistakes you should avoid:
Mistake 1: Letting Emotions drive the process
It is often difficult to detach yourself emotionally during separation.
This makes it hard to understand what is happening and see your divorce and separation clearly.
Family and friends can be supportive, but your heightened emotions can prevent objective decisions.
Make sure your decisions are rational and try to keep your emotions separate.
There might come a time, like during litigation, when you have to be logical and fully in control, but intense feelings will want to take over.
Ensure that any legal decision you take is thought through with a stable mindset before reaching any conclusion.
Make sure that you have a solid support system in place.
Mistake 2: Unrealistic Expectations about divorce
Separating families should have realistic expectations about what the law can and cannot do for them.
Remember if you are not ready to compromise, the matter will be handled by the court and a Judge or Senior Registrar, will take away your right to make a decision.
They will decide for you. The objective of negotiations should be to reach a common ground that works for both parties.
While you are discussing legal and settlement terms, try to be reasonable and realistic.
Empower yourself with knowledge on your rights, obligations and options.
Mistake 3: Taking advice from random people rather than your lawyer
While you are going through the process of divorce, there will be different friends and relatives who might have gone through the same and would like to help.
They chime in and despite wanting to genuinely help you (or not) the advice is not always good.
Your friends, family, school parents or the like who have gone through a divorce are unlikely to be legally trained.
They will not be able to give you legal advice based on expertise and knowledge.
At best you will likely get a rant or opinion based on their experiences. It is wholly unlikely that they know what is right for you.
So, you should not listen to well meaning opinions of the layperson and look to the paid professionals.
Be practical and sensible, follow the advice of your lawyer.
If you do not think your lawyer is doing the right thing, discuss this with them and see if you can resolve any confusion or issues.
Mistake 4: Being unable to identify, value or separate your property
Another common mistake in divorce and separation is that parties fail to identify their assets and the true value of those assets.
This mistake can cost you tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars.
The parties should negotiate and reach an informed decision on how the property will be divided.
The division should be such that both parties’ contributions and future needs are considered.
The property division must comply with the legislative requirements of the act and be fair and reasonable.
If investing in an expert to value property such as a home is necessary, we can direct you to a cost effective expert.
When you try to resolve your dispute without proper knowledge of the value of your assets, what you do is create a larger disparity in the actual division of your assets.
Paying a few hundred dollars to have your home valued is essential for peace of mind.
Mistake 5: Assuming that issues will be resolved with time
You and your former partner are going to play the main role in determining the outcome of your divorce and settlement. People tend to forget this.
Divorce is indeed not a passive process and issues are not going to be resolved with time if you delay them.
Therefore, keep your long-term key interests in mind to make rational decisions.
Remember that delaying the key steps in divorce and separation can further complicate the process and make it more stressful, costly and time consuming.
When parties cannot agree, ask your lawyer for the option of least resistance.
For instance, some negotiations can go on for years without resolution.
You may have spent $10,000 on that process with no result.
A good lawyer knows when to start litigation, when to mediate and when to negotiate.
Where expectations of one party are not realistic, you can chat to your lawyer about options available to you so that there may potentially be a recovery of legal costs.
Mistake 6: Posting personal information online
No matter what relationship you share with your former partner, divorce is an emotionally draining life event.
In this phase of life, it is obvious that you would like to connect with your family and friends and let them know what you are going through.
Keep in mind it is that it is not a good idea to post your thoughts, feelings, and experiences on online platforms.
It also breaches the Act and you could be penalised by the Court.
Resist the urge to post anything about your divorce or separation online, make sure you refrain from using social media until the divorce is finalised.
What now?
Before planning a divorce in Australia, a well-thought-out strategy is a must.
Your first step starts with meeting the right lawyer who will handle the entire process for you.
A good family lawyer will help you understand the law and you’ll refrain from making the mistakes that can complicate your divorce.
If you are looking for an experienced lawyer to help you navigate this next phase, please call us on (08) 8312 6440 or email us at info@alslaw.com.au to make an appointment.
Elena and the team look forward to helping you resolve your matter.